Today while buying my sandwich and drink at the bakery in the library, i handed the lady my id card to use my flex points. she looks at it and goes "oh boy you sure have changed". she has no idea.
that picture was from when i was a freshman, god that was so long ago. looking back at all thats happened in three short years makes me feel like i've already lived a lifetime. Freshman year i came in with romanticized visions of what college was going to be, and by reading some of my older posts, i can see that i was horribly disappointed. I dont think thats its just me thats changed. i think everyone im around has changed. even this place, ODU, has changed, at least in my eyes. its such a love/hate. i love it here, dont ever want to leave, but i also feel like im living half a life. there's a hole, something missing. we try to fill it with going out, going to parties, and saying "its college", but we all know when these years are over, we're destined to find something bigger. we'll find that person that life isnt worth living without, that makes even the mundane days better than yesterday, but not better than tomorrow. i feel like im contradicting myself from my last post. let me clear it up, im not saying i want a soulmate right now, im just saying i look forward to the day when i meet her. because i'll know, without a doubt in my mind that its her. and if i doubt it, then its obviously not her. i know those are kind of ridiculous standards, but why short change ourselves? why settle for anything else than exactly what we want and exactly what we need? well time to go take a midterm, thats my soulmate for the next couple hours.
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